Sunday, November 20, 2005

*//*mIxEd FeELiNgS *//*

dazed...haiz...guess i'm feeling kinda weird now...dun ask me why...my mood swings are juz unpredictable...maybe i'm juz a vulnerable person...so emotions can easily overpower me...hmmm...now listening to jay chou's songs...his songs are REALLY great...cos his voice and the melody of his songs seem to possess the ability to bring me into my inner world...where i can day-dream!!! hAhA! his ballads rocks man!
trying hard to find an explanation for my thoughts...aiyahz...maybe i'm undergoing "mild depression and self-thinking" stage? i'm always like tat...hahahz...juz finished watching D.N Angel...trying to pia this anime...overall...it's quite nice but a bit confusing to me lahz...so i'm planning to watch it again...hehe...
sometimes, i realise tat i do learn a lot of things from anime and comics...some ppl found it a waste of time to pick up this hobby...but i dun think so... cos i began to understand more about the true meaning of friendship, love, kinship and even life...so i'm super impressed by the manga authors and animators...their thoughts are really way beyond our imagination...can u believe it...i do find myself part of the story plots sometimes...feeling the sorrow & joy...hahaz...no wonder ppl can cry & laugh sooo hard when watching tv or reading any books...i'm not an exception of cos...my teacher once said tat watching too much tv can make one an idiot...cos we werent using our brain at all...but he was wrong...i believe tat we use our brain to think and our heart to feel when we are exposed to touching & meaningful scenes...we are actually learning too...hohoho....at least this opinion is frm a tv fanatic like me...hehez...
erm...nvm if u dun understand wat i'm typing...hahaz...it juz the "me" when i'm in the dreamy state...ok let's go back to reality...nothing much happened this week...juz some extra lectures...it seemed tat the mood to study wasnt there...everyone was already in the holiday mood...but we did have to face the outcome...TUTORIAL HOMEWORK...yikes...i started learning option topic for bio...haiz..biodiversity...wat viruses, bacteria...fungi...eck! gonna stuck with "them" till the end of 'A' levels...
had usual choir lessons...sad to say...choir is not as easy as i think...cos i kept singing the wrong thing...breathing the wrong way...the more mistakes i make...the more i feel despondent...same as co...i noe my skills sux (even the instructor says so..)...izzit becos i really lack the passion to master them (maybe i'm not a music person..)? i dun noe wat i wan actually...i like to slack but i dun like to be the weakest...maybe i do have my self esteem afterall...hahaz...i'm angry at myself sometimes...cos choir is really too time consuming...many of my plans were kinda ruined...i got a bit sense of regret...if i did not take part in this competition...wat'll become of me? but my positive side allows me to believe tat as long as i'm willing to put in more effort...i can do it...hey...who noes...this singing experience can be extraordinary...hahaz...so I'M OK LIAOZ... :p
went out with ong & ping ytd...i enjoyed myself very much cos i cherish our friendship...ppl often says it's hard to maintain a friendship when friends arent not together...but we actually DID it...although we were in the same class for only 2 years short...but our friendship is still going strong till now...so i felt blessed to noe them (plus dor!!)...hahaz...we went to the library and shopped for dor's present (did shopping of our own too!)...settled down in mos burger, sipping our ice milk tea and eating fries, chatting about interesting sch & love lives of each other...hahaz...it wld be great if we can do tat once in a while...hehez...
oOpS...guess i typed a lot this time...thanx for ur patience...hahaz...gonna be super busy in the next few weeks...outings...choir & co pracs...haiz...time & money gone...aiyahz...cnt find job also...too many clashes...super sianz...but i'm gonna tell myself...i'm supposes to enjoy not suffer...hahahz...so juz laugh and take things easily bah! (the theme of my pw...hohohoho) jia you vanessa!!!
(PS1: Bon voyage to zj & syl! Have fun in taiwan!)
(PS2: Hey buddies...i'm alright hor...dun think i'm under depression again...i'm juz complaining and venting my frustrations...i'm always the happy-go-lucky one lahz!)

tat's it at 9:42 PM

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